Is it a Problem if my Boyfriend is Younger than Me?

Age gaps between men and women are pretty common in relationships the world over, but although older men routinely date younger women and nobody bats an eye (Hugh Hefner being a prime example), when an older woman has a relationship with a man significantly younger than herself, it is often considered slightly “taboo” and causes a few raised eye brows as a result (unless your name is Madonna). But if your question is: is it a problem if my boyfriend is younger than me, the answer may depend on how large the age gap is!

An age gap of less than five years is unlikely to cause problems since both parties are of the same generation and likely to be at similar life stages. But if the age gap is much bigger, the woman can often end up feeling insecure and concerned that her toy boy will eventually leave her for a younger model.

Is age difference a problem?

The success of the relationship may depend on your ages. If you are in your thirties and he is in his twenties, it might be a good match—you are mature enough to know what you want from life and he is young enough to keep up with you. But if he is in his late teens and you are twenty years older, he is probably much too immature for the relationship to last very long. And besides, what on earth are you going to talk about outside of the bedroom?

For a younger man, dating a “cougar” is the epitome of cool: an older woman is sophisticated, sexy, and probably financially secure. But although the relationship between an older woman and a younger guy might work well for a while, in the long term there is a very good chance the wheels will fall off in spectacular fashion (remember Ashton Kutcher and the hot tub scandal and look where his relationship with Demi Moore ended up as a result).

So what if him and me want children?

When a forty something woman dates a twenty something man, the most obvious issue that might arise is if he wants children and she is too old. So if your boyfriend is younger than you and you think it might become serious, consider where you both stand on the subject and deal with it now rather than later.

If two people love each other deeply, age should not be an issue. However, for any relationship to last the distance, both participants have to be on the same wave length and if your idea of fun is a night in front of the TV with a crossword puzzle and a mug of cocoa, but your boyfriend is more interested in going snow boarding or clubbing, not even great sex will keep the spark alive in the long term.

And finally, despite the fact the odds are against you, relationships between younger men and older women do sometimes work very well, so if you are both madly in love, enjoy the romance and ignore your critics—they are probably only jealous!